Wednesday, July 9, 2014

R


RoadHouse (1989)

Rated R

114 Minutes

Directed by Rowdy Herrington (Striking Distance, not much else)

Budget $15,000,000

Box Office $30,000,000

Reasons that it's a Frank Movie:

1.  The greatest film villain of all time.  Not Darth Vader, not The Jaws, not Ivan Drago.  Nope... an entrepreneur from Jasper, MO.  I mean, we should have expect him to be from Missouri, but that's a different story...

Brad Wesley is the quintessential human example of all that is evil.  That 60-year old, 160lb bastard...


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU_Hs0ogXqs

I mean, the black eye on his stripper girlfriend is inexcusable.  And yelling at her, when she's clearly trying to keep it tone for his old saggy ass.  But, his speech is compelling.  JC Penney did come to a piss-ant town like Jasper, it would have to be a man of great vision to make that happen.  But, I digress...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJduA-gXkhg

Management training by Brad Wesley. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLdyuwqik4Q

Driver-training by Brad Wesley.  Shit, he should write a book...

2.  Wade Garrett.

Sam Elliot should've won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.  All those "Beef.  It's What's For Dinner" and those "Ram Tough" commercials.  They're all done with the understanding that he's doing him in his role as Wade Garrett.  Hell, he'd sell about a million more Ram trucks if he'd throw a "'Mijo" in there.  Damn, that dude is cool.  I can't believe he let that rat bastard Brad Wesley get him.

 


 
For starters, I'm putting the guy at the top of my badass list, just for whooping Terry Funk's ass in his big screen debut.
 
 
Every  man needs this very lecture at least once in his life.  Like ten times for me.
 
Plus, he had the great line:
 
They got a sign above the urinal that says "Don't eat the big white mint."
 
Classic.
 
3.  Kelly Lynch.
 
 
Local girl made good.  Small town.  Doctor.  CJ-7.  Otis Redding fan.  Two step to George Strait in a diner.  DTF.  This bitch had it all.  Plus, Red raised her right.
 
 
As a side note, "Emmitt" has to be one of my Top 5 tertiary characters in the history of film.
 
 
Top 5 movie for me, regardless of parameters.
 
Runner-up:  Red Dawn (1984)
 
 
 
Directed by John Milius (Conan the Barbarian, Flight of The Intruder, mostly a screenwriter.)
 
Reasons that it's a Frank Movie:
 
1.  Culturally significant.
 
There is no greater summation of the feelings of teenage Americans in 1984 than Red Dawn.  We believed that this could happen any day.  We feared it.  This was a shaping, driving force in the psyche of so many of us.  It's something that no one before us, or after us can really appreciate. 
 
 
 
2.  Brothers.
 
If you've got brothers, there's something special about that.  The Red Army isn't strong enough to destroy that brotherthood.  Jed and Matty proved that.
 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JH19-8lFZ5c

This is our home...

Honorable Mentions:  Risky Business (1983), Ricochet (1991), Rounders (1998)


 
 



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